hay dos: gemini reflections

the flame is in my peripheral view right now, and in hindsight, i should have always been here, in this exact moment appreciating this, exactly. tonight i let the warm water soak my skin and my senses were aroused by maxwell as we shared sundry vibes about this girl. fortunate, i am. she told me about her love for all seasons, beginning with the mid summer nights filled with buoyant desires continuing on to the cold winter nights, feeling my presence in my absence, my words in my silence and my thoughts in my oblivion. yea, yea, patience is a virtue...but she deserves an award, some sort of long-standing recognition, like a star. i wish i could see the moon tonight, i remember when i had a window...the moon watched over me like a guardian, witnessing all of my mishaps comforting me in the alone part of the night, when i would cry.

the only way to acknowledge my current state of happiness is to remember my pain. tears, rejection, self-abuse, denial, hopelessness, blank. yin & yang. i am now awake, and i have an alternative, thats why maxwell and i had such an agreement this evening, for a moment, my words were taken away from me and i only possessed these thoughts, these thoughts of grander moments caught up in the rapture, realizing that i am going to be privy to my most intimate desires. and as i write this i am not here, but instead my presence is held by a plush white room during an brief intermission with the chaos of the city in my peripheral as a backdrop to my serenity, similar to this constant flame to my right.

we agreed: fortunate.